Me and My Abaya

I went to an Emirati wedding recently. It was a rare chance to wear my abaya, a gift from an Emirati friend last year. These pictures were taken before my two friends and I left for the ladies-only party that began around 9 p.m.

I've been to three Emirati weddings. I will write about them soon. For now I just wanted to post something on my blog to show I'm still here.

Dressing Up In Abu Dhabi

My new favorite dress is one my dear Emirati friend (called Sunshine here) picked out for me. Actually Sunshine picked it out for herself, but it "needs a taller person," she said as she handed it to me in a shop in Abu Dhabi the other day.

It is a clingy, short-sleeved, knit dress in pink, black, and white. It has a deep v-neck in front and back, and it goes to the knee. Much sexier than my usual style. I could easily imagine an Emirati lady wearing this dress with her female friends; the women of the Gulf whom I've met are deeply feminine and stylish and love to dress up. But I wasn't sure I had the nerve to wear this kind of dress in my mixed-gender social gatherings.

Now our cultural style differences were confronting me head-on.

"I think it's too small," I said.

"Try it on," she said. Sunshine was covered -as usual when in public - in one of her elegant black abayas and shaylas.

I did. The dress was lovely, but I couldn't see wearing it further than my living room: it hugged my torso like a super-long girdle. The deep v-neck seemed to show more of me than any bathing suit I'd ever owned.

I opened the dressing-room door just a crack to show Sunshine, who was waiting patiently. She looked me over with her lovely dark eyes.

"Beautiful. Buy it," she said.

I bought it, not wanting to hurt Sunshine's feelings. But I'm glad I did: I wore it last night, to a fancy cocktail party on the water at a beautiful Abu Dhabi hotel. It was a perfect evening, weatherwise, and noone seemed scandalized by my attire, be he Emirati or westerner.

In the end, it seemed the perfect dress for a party in a cosmopolitan city.

Perhaps I'm advancing from merely admiring the stylish people around me to gaining the confidence to be stylish myself. The Abu Dhabi adventure continues.

Abayas in General, Abaya Styles

Recently I've seen several females in shorter abayas, something I haven't seen before. (In the Gulf, an abaya is a black floor-length cloak worn over clothing when ladies leave the house. They wear a matching black shayla, or headscarf with their abaya.)

At the Marina Mall yesterday, I saw a woman in an abaya that was five inches shorter than the usual floor length. The hem of this lady's long brown skirt really stood out; I assumed she must have borrowed a shorter friend's abaya in a pinch. As a fashion style it definitely didn't work.

Later, while watering my new pink petunias in their new window boxes in front of my villa, a group of teenage girls walked by. Each of them was wearing an abaya that was more like a cape. These abayas were sort of hip length. The girls were beautiful, young, laughing. I liked their whole "air," if you will. Their heads were covered loosely with black shaylas. Very lovely. Is the shorter abaya a new style?

Speaking of abayas, I love them. They're feminine and graceful. They definitely make you wonder what is worn under them, which by the way, could be anything from cottom pajamas to a silk ball gown. Women of the Gulf wear abayas well, as they tend to walk very erect and with a proud air. The abaya fabric is wrinkle resistant and very fluid. Sometimes they have embroidery or brightly colored stones on the sleeves or hems or both, but some Gulf ladies say these highly-decorated abayas are too flashy and are supposed to be saved for special occasions.

The abaya has evolved over the years into something quite fashionable. In times past, abayas used to have "wings," and were like floor-length ponchos, I'm told. But they've become more tailored to the size of the wearer's arms and figure.

Occasionally a lady's abaya will flare open towards the bottom and a bright colored skirt and heels might be seen. It's interesting to note that men seem to like them.

"Western women don't get it," my German podiatrist chiropodist said when we discussed the abaya one day. "Men would rather get a little peak and leave the rest to their imaginations than see everything."

Really, if a woman is overweight the abaya is slimming. I've seen extra-large ladies remove their abayas at weddings and thought they ought to immediately put them back on. If a woman is slender, she is nothing short of stunning in her abaya. For most ladies who fall in between, the abaya makes them look well groomed and certainly insulates them from prying eyes. In this part of the world, where a woman can feel the uncomfortable heat of a strange man's stare, the abaya is often welcome.

I cringe when I read a western woman rail against the abaya as something imprisoning Gulf ladies when, in fact, local ladies I know actually like their abayas.

When I received an abaya and matching shayla (headscarf) as a gift from an Emirati friend, my children teased me about being an Emirati "wannabe." Maybe they were scared I'd wear it in public, I don't know. I find it's best not to listen too closely to my children at these times.

I haven't worn my abaya outside yet, but I confess that I've tried it on (in the bathroom) many times, just to see what I'd look like.